It is the ultimate risk. Sometimes a decision, often a swirling force, wheel within a wheel, that sucks the soul irretrievably towards it's vortex. The force has a name, it is called Love and once you have surrendered to that cosmic pull you are tethered by the heart to the risk called loss. Despite the ever present possibilities of pain inherent in the act of loving we all take the risk, for better or worse; hedging our bets that the joy, connection and gifts of loving will outweigh the pain and disillusions of love's loss.
Impermanence is the life lesson inherent in loving anyone or anything. The special bonds that we form with the creatures of our domestic existence are especially poignant teachers of this lesson. The love for a pet is in everyway as potent as our human love relationships. I am writing this on the day that death ended my 11 year relationship with Paddington Bear, my gray and white cat friend. His life span, as a cat, was a constant reminder that, no matter how much I loved him, I, as a human, would probably outlive him and ultimately, have to grieve his loss from my physical life.
He choose a bad time to leave. He was comfort in the suddenly very long, lonely days resulting from the loss of my teaching job. Like Paddy's sudden death I had no time to prepare for this sudden solitude.The vacuum created by the loss of the daily friendships of my colleagues is painful. Paddington Bear was always there, speech was not his gift, but listening certainly was.
I buried him in the rain this afternoon, under the trees at the corner of the woods where his predecessors in companionship, FB and Preston Nichols lie at rest. Will I take this great risk again? Probably I will. I have yet to master the great teachings of the Zen Masters.
Thank you Paddington Bear, for being one of my teachers.
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